How to: Survive an Apocalypse

apocalypse photo

Now, not all apocalypse have to be the stereotypical zombie invasion. There are many types of other ways that a meltdown can occur, but most of them tend to have the same result- surviving alone (or with others) and being forced to defend and feed yourself from scratch. Below, I will give you 5 key ways to protect your back and help yourself and others in case a horrible catastrophic event like a world-wide apocalypse occurs.

[P.S, this is for entertainment purposes only. Some tips might not help you in certain scenarios, so please don’t become angry if this article fails at helping you escape a zombie horde. Thanks!]

 

  1. Do not Question the Possibility of an Apocalypse

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Have you ever thought “Why would a few un-dead humans cause the entire world to go into panic”? Have you ever wondered why the army can’t just simply shoot down the first group of zombies and have the entire scenario be over? Have you ever thought about why would artificially intelligent human-killing robots even come into creation in the first place? Well, I just have one thing to say and that is:

The apocalypse can be quite sensitive and it does not like it when people question it. 

You see, no one on the Walking Dead questions why the first zombie wasn’t just killed (and if they did, it was just shrugged off). No one in any of the many robotic-take-over movies wonders why the robots wants to kill humans in the first place (and if they did, it was probably also shrugged off.). No one in asteroid-brought-apocalypse scenarios wonders why the asteroid didn’t just hit Mars or Venus instead (and if they did, it was probably an astronaut).

Most people just think of surviving. Those characters in any movie or show who attempts to figure out the apocalypse will almost always have certain misery struck down on them to make their horrible scenario worse than before- unless that character is a main character of course. They never die.

So, in the worst case scenario of an apocalypse, please do not question it. The apocalypse might be greatly offended by your questioning its existence. It might end up being a game over for you if you do.

2. Find Shelter.

shelter photo

This should have probably been stated first, but in almost every apocalypse scenario you need shelter. You can’t go dilly-dallying in the middle of a hungry zombie horde. You really need to find some place where you are unseen, where there are few entrances, and where the walls are thick enough for you to rest without someone hearing you occasionally snore. In other words, don’t hide like the goats in the picture above. Please don’t hide like the goats.

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However, the goats do have an advantage that comes along with their glass house: food. There is lots and lots of grass around them, which is great because they won’t go hungry for a while (unless I’m horribly wrong and those are lions in goat costumes and not actual goats. Then they are doomed, since there seem to be no animals to hunt in the pictures)

The point is, please get somewhere safe. Also, see if the safe-house you are in has any advantages that could aid you in your survival, like food being already there or there might be blunt objects lying around to help you fight off anyone that tries to threaten you.

3. Have Enough Resources

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Please note that if the government ever shuts down and you’re surviving on your own, there will no longer be plumbing, food, and daily supplies available at your fingertips. You (and the people with you) will need to search for these things. If your are in the city, it would probably be easier to find where resources are, but harder to get them on time because of all of the other people in the city want them too. If you are in the countryside, it might be harder to find the resources, but probably a better chance of them being available in larger numbers because of the lack of other human presence around.

Stealing is bad, but if you have to, you will probably have to steal from a few department stores in order to get the things you need… and I don’t think money is relevant when there are zombies attempting to smash through your walls. In these scenarios, it’s more like a “Take-and-Go” thing… But please don’t steal from your neighbors or other survivors. They might not be too fond of you taking their things, and it might end up worse for you than being a captive of a robot army.

If need be, hunting for food is great and so is fishing. Taking lots of camping trips can teach you other survival means in the woods.

(At least make sure you can eat an apple or five a day. It can keep the doctors away, and it can keep your system going for two or three days)

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4. Find People You Can Trust

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One thing a man or woman would walk miles and miles to get back is family. Surviving an Apocalypse can be hard when there is no one you can trust, no one you can vent your feelings to, and no one you can rely on with things hit the fan. Having friends and family can be considered very important to many survivors of an apocalypse. Even a dog or cat can be seen as a good companion during such hard times.

5. In Some Cases, Stay Away from People…

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What can be worse than zombies, asteroids, robots, plagues, and exploding suns?

Humans themselves.

Some people, even normal and kind people, become evil once the apocalypse hit. They might not be full-blown bad, but they also might not mind hurting you in any way to get what they want. A kind person who sells really cheap candy might turn into your worst nightmare once they realize that the world had ended. Humans themselves can be their own downfall. People can turn on you in a matter of seconds, or can become “evil” when triggered. Some people just aren’t meant to be around when something bad hits.

Just keep trusted and loved ones close. Don’t entirely push new people away, but don’t be gullible to any deceiving tricks they might try to pull on you either. Stay cautious of your surroundings!

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In conclusion, those are the 5 things People should try to do when an apocalypse occurs. Following them might be at full advantage to your survival.

[Once again, this is not an article to be taken completely literally. Did anyone notice that I left out the important “defend yourself with weapons” tip? Do not egg my home with apocalypse-eggs if some of these tips do not work.]

Have fun, and stay safe!

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1 Comment on "How to: Survive an Apocalypse"

  1. Apocalypse or no apocalypse, all living organisms has to die one day. You may call it as ‘God’ or ‘nature’ or whatever you like.

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